


grow flowers from wounds

by moriphyte



Series: how sad a flower [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Abuse, Gen, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-10-06 03:57:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10325093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moriphyte/pseuds/moriphyte
Summary: "This infertile soil wasn't always soThere once were flowersWhere there are now fistsThere were canopies of greenWhere there is now a single, curling finger"-Growing Pains,Ángel S.Growing up is hard, Dave and Dirk learned that through the pain of broken bones and bruised skin. They were told that from that pain they would grow like flowers from wounds, and they did, but weeds are flowers too





	

**Author's Note:**

> I've been listening to This Year by The Mountain Goats on repeat for the last three days so yeah thats how my life is going rn. I've also been reading [this humanstuck au](http://archiveofourown.org/series/189914)  
> and it gave me a lot of inspiration to write more side fics for the hsaf series. I read one of the fics in the au and was thinking about how when I was growing up in an abusive situation I always wanted a sibling to be there with me so I wouldn't have to go through it alone and since I relate to Dave a lot I imagine he probably felt the same way when he was growing up with Bro. This is basically how the Strider brothers got out of their shitty situation and in with the Lalondes to make 'four people crammed in a tiny two bedroom house Strilalonde sitcom hell' aka what I live for. This is set about five years before hsaf.

You're running  
You don't know where to but you're running  
And you have no intention of stopping  
The city around you is dark and cold, it hasn't snowed yet but apparently it's supposed to, at least that's what the hot blond lady with the low cut top on the local weather channel said  
Thats one small happiness in this otherwise shitty ass day  
You spent the first few years of your life in Houston and it never snows there, here it snows a few times a year and you're always just as happy as you were the first time you saw it.  
You and Dirk saw the snow through the window of your bedroom and raced each other to the roof of your apartment building, you stumbling behind him on your small child's legs. You were young, probably only six and nine. When you walked out onto the roof there was a thin layer of white snow collecting on the stained cement.  
You ran up to Dirk's side and turned your face up to watch the falling snow through your triangle shades.  
You held out your little bare hands and let the snow fall into your palm, watching in amazement as the individual snowflakes seemed to dissipate just as they touched the warmth of your skin  
You turned to Dirk and tried to show him, his expression didn't change, it never did, but you could tell he thought it was cool.  
You sat up there on the roof of your apartment building, watching the snow fall on the city, until you were too cold to feel your hands.  
You had just moved here from Houston so you didn't have any winter clothes yet, not that Bro would end up getting you any anyways. The warmest thing you owned was an old red zip up sweatshirt, the kind you could get at the local Walmart for five dollars, which is exactly where you got it.  
You wanted to stay outside and keep watching the snow but Dirk, ever the responsible one, wrapped his orange sweatshirt around your small shoulders and insisted that you go back inside.  
He held you against him as you made your way back down to your floor and into the apartment. You kicked off your wet shoes and he led you into the bedroom you shared, sitting you on your bed and pulling your comforter up and around you before going back out into the kitchen  
You wanted to see what he was doing so you got up from your bed, dragging the comforter with you, and followed him out into the kitchen, padding across the peeling linoleum in your little mismatched socks.  
He was standing at the counter, barely tall enough for his eyes to see over the top of it, with two mostly clean coffee mugs and a box of instant hot chocolate packets  
You padded over to him and he turned from the mugs and box of hot chocolate to look back at you, orange eyes hidden behind his triangle shades.  
"Can I help?" You had asked, pushing your matching shades up where they were sliding down your small nose.  
He didn't say anything but he gave you a nod, stepping aside to make room for you at the counter  
You had to stand on your toes, which stuck out of the holes in your socks, to see over the counter but he let you pour the powdered hot chocolate and mini marshmallows into the two mugs while he heated up milk in the microwave  
When your hot chocolate was done being mixed you turned to each other, high fived, and took your mugs of sweet warmth into the living room  
Bro wasn't home, hadn't been for days, so you had the apartment to yourselves, which was how you liked it.  
You hadn't started training with real swords yet, you were still using wooden ones, but you were both covered in bruises and cuts, you more than Dirk, from the only time he really did spend with you, strifing.  
That night you sat on the futon together, wrapped in the comforter from your bed, holding your large mugs of hot chocolate close in your small hands and watching late night anime on Adult Swim. Bro didn't come home that night and you fell asleep curled up against Dirk.  
That's one of your favorite memories, and one of the few good ones from your childhood, but that's not what you need to be thinking about right now  
Right now you need to be thinking about where the fuck you're actually going  
With every beat of your your feet hitting the pavement you feel dull pain. Not anywhere in particular, Bro doesn't discriminate when he kicks your ass. Right now your whole body feels like a bruise and all you want is to lay down and sleep but you can't do that at the apartment  
Bro is there, and you can't sleep with him around. Even thinking about it makes you sick to your stomach and you unconsciously pick up your pace  
The farther away from him you are the safe you'll feel  
You wish Dirk would hurry up and turn eighteen already  
Right now he's seventeen and you're fourteen. He says that Bro treats you like shit and as soon as he becomes a legal adult he's going to get you out of that apartment. You don't want to think about the exact words he uses, but you do know that you don't want to stay in that apartment, and you don't want to fight anymore.  
So until then this is what you do, you run.  
Terezi lives the closest to your apartment so you decide to go there because you're starting to think you bruised a rib, and because she's the least likely to look at you with pity.  
You think of all your other friends concerned faces at the cuts and bruises you brush off with increasingly ridiculous explanations.  
When you reach her house you stop and send her a message on Pesterchum before running around to the side of the building and starting to climb the fire escape. You don't want to wake anyone else in her house up, you don't want to be more of a problem than you already are and mostly you just want to go to sleep with as little explanation as possible as to just why the fuck you're out of your apartment this late at night. Terezi shares her room with Vriska but you know from experience helping Terezi try to get her up for school in the morning that she's a heavy as fuck sleeper  
When you reach the window you know to be Terezi's you knock on the glass which is covered in faded dragon and spider stickers that must have been there since they were kids.  
When there's no answer you bite your lip and look at the window. You know it's broken so that it can be opened from the outside, and you're really starting to get cold out here. You shrug and take hold of the edge of the window, pushing it open enough for your skinny ass to climb inside.  
You manage to get most of your body through the window before you loose your grip on the window sill and fall hard the floor.  
"Fuck" you groan loudly before realizing you're in a room with two other people, both of whom are sleeping  
Shit  
The pile of blankets on the bed closest to you moves and shifts and Terezi peaks her head out from inside  
She blinks at you with her pale almond eyes and squints at the open window. She sniffs the air until shes facing you and her face breaks into a grin, "coolkid?"  
"That's me" you say  
"What the fuck are you doing here it's-" she glances at the clock on Vriska's cluttered nightstand, and turns to face you again, "11:30 at night"  
"Just thought I'd stop by and see my favorite girl" you say, giving her a grin  
She shakes her head and looks at you seriously, "are you okay, Dave?"  
You think about the dull throbbing in your side and shrug, you've been worse, at least you didn't break anything this time because that would mean going to the hospital and you hate hospitals, "yeah, I'm cool"  
"Come on then dummy" she says, not looking convinced but lifting up her comforter for you anyway  
You kick off your shoes and crawl into bed beside her, immediately sinking into the warmth of it.  
You settle down in the bed and she curls up against you, resting her head against your shoulder. You know from experience that you will most definitely wake up with drool all over your shirt but right now you can't really find it in yourself to care  
"Night, coolkid" she says  
You slip off your shades, folding them and setting them carefully onto her nightstand, and close your eyes  
"Night Tez"

You wake up the next morning to snow and spend the rest of the school week at Terezi's before finally going back to your apartment.  
The weather forecast predicts more snow this week  
You climb the stairs of your building and enter your apartment as quietly as possible. By the lack of a body on the futon you know that Bro must not be home, so you head towards the room you share with Dirk.  
When you walk in the lights are off but the glow from his laptop screen illuminates his face  
"Hey dude" you say, still keeping your voice down out of habit despite Bro not being home  
He looks up at you and gives you a nod, he's stopped bothering asking where you've been when you disappear, he knows how to find you if he really needs to.  
You kick off your shoes and pants and slip under the heart patterned sheets on your bed, wrapping the comforter tightly around you  
"Dave" he says  
You look over at him in questioning  
"Yeah?"  
"Binder"  
Oh  
You sigh, you know he's right, you're really not supposed to sleep with it on, it's not like you really have much to bind anyway. Life has given you a lot of shit, but at least you have basically no tits and hips.  
In the darkness of the small bedroom you pull off your shirt and unhook your binder, tossing it to the floor on your side of the room before pulling your shirt back on and settling down in bed  
"night" you say  
It's a moment before he replies and it's almost so quiet you don't pick up on it, "night, Dave"

Weeks pass the same as they always do. You go to school and afterwards Dirk goes to FRC while you go to the art room or detention. Then you go back to the apartment where you use the small amount of money you have to order take out and eat in relative silence in your bedroom, both hoping Bro doesn't come home. For the most part he doesn't but when he does it always ends the same. Dirk holds his own and you get your ass handed to you.

It's the last week of November, only a week away from Dirk's eighteenth birthday, and you're hoping for snow.

The two of you are home alone after school and you're walking freely around the kitchen, the hidden cameras for Bro's porn site already covered up with variously colored smuppets. You're looking around for something to drink when the door across the apartment opens and and you jump, instinctively ducking behind the counter for cover  
You see Bro's feet in their large black shoes as they approach you and you squeeze your eyes shut wishing you were anywhere but here  
He stops in front of you and lets out a cold laugh, shaking his head, "get the fuck up, kid"  
Your face burning, you get to your feet but keep your eyes down  
"Strife, now" He orders, pulling out his katana  
You nod your head, backing away from him and towards where you know you left your sword laying in the living room  
He advances, eyes hidden behind dark triangle shades making it so all you can see it your own fear filled face looking back at you. You can feel your heart beating in your ears as you back away from his advancing form.  
"You're not as strong as Dirk, you need more training" he says, raising his katana  
He brings the blade down just as your fingers find your own sword and you bring it up to block his strike.  
You do, barely, but your arms are weak against his and you can't hold it  
Before he can force your sword down you pull away and stumble back, keeping your sword up in defense  
Bro advances and you glance around the small apartment, you know there's no getting away, you found that out a long time ago, but that doesn't mean your natural instinct isn't still to try  
You dash towards the still open door but he flash steps and gets there first, blocking your only exit  
You look up at him, holding tightly to the hilt of your sword with sweaty hands, and you feel yourself start to shake.  
For fucks sake Dave, keep it together.  
"Fuck, you really are weak, always runnin away, come on, stand up and fight like a man" he says, raising his sword again  
You take a deep shaking breath, trying desperately to pull air into your lungs. You hate this, you hate strifing, you hate him. You don't want to fight, you don't want to get hurt, but this is your life, you accepted that a long time ago.  
So as he brings his sword down again you raise yours to meet it  
You block better than before, you were more prepared this time, but it doesn't stop him from forcing your sword down from its protective place in front of your face  
You pull away, jumping back and looking around for a way out, but there is none, he has you up against the wall  
So when his sword comes down again you do the only thing you can do, you block, because fuck if you were ever able to actually land a hit on him. Dirk has, but that's Dirk, he's actually good at this. Not you though, not you.  
His sword clashes against yours so hard that your arm is forced down sharply. You feel sharp pain shoot up your arm and you cry out as your sword falls from your grip, clattering to the floor of the apartment.  
Without pause Bro is on you again and this time you don't have anything to protect yourself. He slams you against the wall and your head hits the cheap dry wall so hard that you're sure it leaves a dent and everything blurs. You drop to the floor, pressing back against the wall, the one shared with you and Dirk's room, and curling in on yourself, hoping he decides not to be too brutal this time. You hold your hurt arm against your chest and raise your good arm up to shield your face, squeezing your eyes shut a Bro raises his katana. You brace yourself but the expected blow doesn't come, instead there's a sound of clashing metal and you open your eyes to see Dirk standing in front of you, katana in hand  
Your eyes widen behind your shades  
No, what the fuck is he doing, he can't do this, he can't interrupt your training, he might be better than you but Bro could still kick his ass and now he's going to, all because you were too weak to protect yourself  
"Dirk-" you start but he cuts you off without looking at you  
"Its okay Dave, I've got this"  
You nod but start to slowly move towards where your sword fell  
You can at least try to help him. Alone he can't beat Bro but maybe together you can at least hold him off long enough to get somewhere safe. Bro broke the lock on the door last time you tried locking yourself in your room but the apartment door is still open, maybe if you run out into the hallway you can find a neighbor, then Bro won't be able to do anything.  
It's not like this is the first time Dirks jumped in on your defense, in fact it's pretty much the one thing he does that makes Bro mad, his one defiance  
"Are you okay?" He asks, eyes still locked on Bro  
You look down at the arm held against your chest and then back up at him, "yeah but I think my arm is broken"  
He nods and directs his next statement to Bro, "I'm taking Dave to the hospital"  
Bro looks between you and you hold your breath. His eyes land on you and he looks you up and down, eyes lingering on the arm held against your chest. He shakes his head in what is clearly meant to be a show of disappointment before lowering his katana, "do whatever you want kid but I'm not takin ya"  
"We don't need your help" Dirk says and although his voice is flat and seemingly emotionless you can hear the anger there, just under the surface  
As soon as Bro retreats into his room Dirk throws his katana down and runs over to you, leaning down and offering a hand to help you up  
You take it with your good arm and allow him to pull you to your feet  
You sway, stumbling into him, and he has to hold you against him to keep you standing  
"Did you hit your head?" He asks  
You nod making everything blur  
He nods back, "okay, we're going to the hospital, come on"  
You allow yourself to be lead to the door and out into the hallway  
"Dirk" you say as he leads you down the stairs  
He hums in response  
"We can't go to the hospital" you say  
"We have to, the clinic is closed this late" he says  
"But what are we gonna tell them?" You ask  
He stops walking as you exit your apartment building and turns to you, looking you in the eyes through your shades, "we're gonna tell them the truth"  
Your eyes widen behind your shades and you suddenly feel like you're going to throw up. You shake your head.  
"We can't-"  
"Yes we can" he says  
"But you're not eighteen yet, we have nowhere to go, I can't-"  
"Dave" he says, putting his hands on your shoulders, "don't worry about that, right now just focus on staying awake until we get to the hospital, I'll take care of it from there, okay?"  
You nod and he gives you a small smile, one he's only ever given you, "okay, let's go"

The hospital waiting room is mostly empty this late at night with the exception of a man who looks to be asleep in his chair and a girl who can't be any older than seventeen bouncing a crying, snotty child in her lap.  
Dirk leads you to the reception desk  
"How can I help you?" The woman asks, seemingly by habit. She looks tired, you don't even know what time it is but if the free clinic is closed it must be passed 11:00pm  
"My brothers arm is broken and he might have a concussion" Dirk says  
"And what is the patients name?" The woman asks, looking to you with tired eyes   
"Dave Strider" you say  
"And you are?" She asks, looking to Dirk  
"Dirk Strider, his older brother"  
"And how old are you?"  
You stiffen but Dirk continues without missing a beat, you're the scratched record in this family, "I'm eighteen, he's fifteen"  
She looks between you and you hold your breath. Then she shakes her head tiredly, writing something down quickly before handing the paper to Dirk, "okay, just fill out these papers and a nurse will be out to help you shortly"  
Dirk nods thanks her and leads you over to the far side of the waiting room, sitting you down in a chair  
"If the doctor asks you what happened tell them the truth, you don't have to tell them about anything else, I'll take care of it" he says  
You nod, "yeah, got it"

The nurse calls for you five minutes later and Dirk walks you over to him  
He hands the nurse the paperwork he filled out and the man takes a look over it before nodding "okay, I can take you back to the pediatric care unit"  
"I'm coming with him" Dirk says  
"Are you a relative?"  
"I'm his older brother"  
The man nods and turns, gesturing for you to follow him  
You do and as you push through the double swinging doors into the hospital you keep close to Dirk's side  
The nurse leads you to a large room full of hospital beds separated by curtains and sits you down in a bed, promising that a doctor will be with you shortly.

You sit down in the bed and Dirk takes a seat in the chair next to you  
He sighs, running a hand through his spiky blond hair and leaning his elbow on the bed  
He looks tired, he must be, he gets even less sleep than you do. He's always awake, eyes on the bedroom door, just in case Bro decides to try something at three in the fucking morning. He's always slept closer to the door than you, probably so he can get in front of you if Bro does come. He wants to protect you, he always has. You, who never wanted to fight, you, who were too weak to ever protect him the way he protects you.  
"I'm sorry" you say  
He looks up at you in confusion, "what, why?"  
"This is my fault for getting my ass kicked, if I could actually fight you wouldn't have had to do this"  
He looks at you incredulously, "are you serious, Dave? This isn't your fault, it's mine, I shouldn't have let this go on as long as it did, I should have gotten you out a long time ago. Now your arm is broken"  
You give him a small smile, "it's not like it's the first time I've broken something"  
He shakes his head at that, "I know, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't get you out sooner"  
"It's okay dude, this isn't your fault"  
"Yeah, it is"  
You put your hand on his shoulder and meet his eyes from behind your shades, "Dirk, it's not your fault"  
He doesn't look like he believes you and he opens his mouth presumably to argue when the curtain beside your bed opens and a small woman in a white coat steps in  
"Hello, is one of you Dave Strider?"  
You raise your good hand, "the one and only"  
She gives you a kind smile and her eyes move to Dirk, "and you must be Dirk"  
He nods  
"So, can I ask what happened?" She asks, walking over to stand by your bed  
Your stomach twists and you feel yourself start to shake. The fluorescent lights above you are suddenly way too fucking bright.  
Keep it together Strider, you can not have a breakdown in front of this random doctor  
"Uhhh..." you look to Dirk, he gives you a nod and you shake your head. You can't do this. He nods again and turns to the doctor, "our Bro...our father, broke his arm"

You grit your teeth as the doctor examines your arm. It turns out you have two hairline fractures in your left forearm along with a mild concussion. The doctors give you a cast and since you're still considered a kid they let you choose the color. You, of course, choose red. Your arm in a sling the doctor leads you to another room that looks to be an office. Dirk is inside seated at one of the chairs across from the desk.  
"Why don't you sit down" the doctor says, gesturing towards the open chair next to Dirk  
You nod stiffly and take a seat beside Dirk. He glances over at you, his eyes on your cast. You can see the guilt in his eyes and you give him a small smile, "it's cool man, I've got this sweet ass red cast, what more could I want?"  
He gives you a tight smile, "it is a pretty sweet cast"  
"Okay" the doctor says, taking a seat at the desk, "please tell me what happened, I need to know the extent of the abuse for the report"  
You flinch at that word, abuse, you know that's what it is but you hate thinking of it like that, like you're a victim. Other people have it way worse, just look at Callie, she's three grades bellow you and she shows up to school with nasty bruises and split lips all the time. You know it's her asshole brother but she won't admit to it, she hides it, kind of like how you hide your bruises. The things people will do to protect their shitty family members. You feel yourself start to shake and Dirk cuts in  
"Our Bro has done sword training with us since we were kids. He was strifing with Dave and he broke his arm"  
"Does this kind of thing happen often?" She asks, directing her question at Dirk. She seems to have caught on that you're not going to talk. You can't even fucking talk right, have to make Dirk do it for you. Bro is right, you are weak.  
He nods and you sink down in your chair, "yeah, at least three time a week. He's fucked us up bad enough to need a hospital before but he always made us go to the free clinic, they don't ask as many questions there" Dirk says  
"And he does this to both of you?" She asks, looking between you. You keep your eyes down and sink further into the chair.  
"Yes but its worse for Dave...Bro is harder on him and I can't always protect him. I'm afraid one day he's going to go too far and something's going to happen" Dirk says  
You want to curl in on yourself and rock back and forth the way you do sometimes when you think about strifing but you can't do that here, besides, you don't want to look weaker than you already do.  
"Okay, well that is definitely child abuse and we need to get you out of there immediately, how old did you say you were again?" the doctor asks, glancing down at your papers on her desk  
"I'm eighteen, he's fifteen" Dirk says, repeating the same lie he gave the receptionist  
She nods slowly, "okay, and do you have anywhere you can stay? Any family or friends?"  
You bite your lip and look at Dirk, "I think I know someone"

 **turntechGodhead [TG]** started pestering **tentacledTherapist [TT]** at 11:50pm  
**TG** : yo Rose  
**TT** : hello Dave  
**TG** : this is important  
**TT** : do tell  
**TG** : is your mom there?  
**TT** : she is currently staying with her new husband up in Seattle and hasn't been home for a month, so no, she is not here  
**TG** : okay figured, is there any chance Roxy is sober?  
**TT** : considering she's currently passed out under the kitchen table I would say no, there is no chance she is sober  
**TG** : great  
**TT** : what do you need help with, I can always be of service   
**TG** : sorry sis but we need an adult for this  
**TT** : oh, well I can easily do that  
**TG** : Rose I know you're mature and all but you can not pass for eighteen  
**TT** : try me  
**TG** : Rose seriously  
**TT** : okay I was only joking, ill try to wake Roxy up, where do you need us to go?  
**TG** : the hospital  
**TT** : the hospital? Why, what happened?  
**TG** : some shit, my arms broken, nbd  
**TT** : um yes Dave that is a big deal tell me what happened?  
**TG** : Bro  
**TT** : I figured as much  
**TG** : yeah  
**TT** : so you're looking for a place to stay then, why didn't you just come over?  
**TG** : because Dirk told the doctors what happened, they're not gonna let us go back home so we need an adult to come get us  
**TT** : Dave Roxy doesn't turn eighteen for another week, you know that  
**TG** : we just need her to pass for one, Dirk is currently lying and saying he's eighteen but we still have nowhere to go  
**TT** : okay, I'll have her be a stand in for our mother, she's the one that pays the rent in this place anyway so she would technically be the one taking care of you  
**TG** : you really think Roxy can pass as your mom?  
**TT** : well our teen mom, they look alike and Roxy has pretty much mastered her impression of our mother at this point, it's very impressive  
**TG** : yeah but isn't she drunk right now  
**TT** : even better, my mother is always drunk, she'll be more in character  
**TG** : okay this sounds like a thing that is most definitely not gonna work but whatever, I'm drugged up enough on pain medication that I don't really give a fuck, so see you when you get here  
**TG** : oh btws we're at Prospit Hospital, you'll probs have to take the train  
**TT** : I will go wake Roxy up and we will be there within the hour  
**TT** : oh  
**TG** : what?  
**TT** : Roxy just woke up  
**TG** : and...?  
**TT** : she's talking to our cat so that's a good sign  
**TT** : I'm going to get her coffee at the train station, that usually sobers her up  
**TG** : okay, see you in an hour  
**TT** : see you in an hour  
**turntechGodhead [TG]** ceased pestering **tentacledTherapist [TT]** at 11:58pm

You shouldn't be surprised at how good Roxy is at passing for sober. She did used to go to school drunk at least three times a week. Actually you're pretty sure she took her SATS drunk and she still got a 2200. But you still find yourself thoroughly impressed when she manages to pass for an adult, a sober adult. And so after setting a date for you to get your cast off you find yourself on the nearly empty midnight train back to your part of the city. Except you're not going back, not to your apartment, you're going to the Lalonde's. You still have shit at your apartment that you have to get but this time when you go in you'll have back up in the form of a pair of sisters wielding knitting needles and a wine bottle. Your sisters, they're your sisters, and this is your family.

 


End file.
